The letter ....

I can think of 10 things I really need to be doing right now, dishes, working on my consignment stuff (seems endless at this point) but feel the need to blog. And I'm sure only a true blogger would understand what that feels like.  Okay, so here goes ....

I received an email last week from Holt International, South Korea,  forwarded from Angie with Holt International in Oregon. Holt in South Korea's email said the "child's birth mother requested the child's updated photos, if the family can send them as an attachment, it would be very nice, thank you for asking."   And Angie went on to add this:  

These requests for updates from Birth Mothers  are becoming more frequent.  We see this request as very normal and shows the Birth Mother’s care and concern for Yeong-min.  This can be very significant for your child to know his birth mother thinks of him and wants to know how he’s doing.  We also want to be able to provide the Birth Mother with this update, as it helps to reassure and confirm for her the adoption plan was good for Yeong-min by seeing how well he’s is doing.  

Could you send us some updated photos which we can forward to Holt Korea and Yeong-min’s birth mother?  If you would like, please feel free to also write a letter giving an update on how Yeong-min is doing.  Any and all correspondence will go through Holt International and Holt Korea and no identifying information will be shared with either party (please do not include any identifying information on the photos or letter: eg K#, last names, email, address, etc).  We can’t guarantee Birth Mother will feel comfortable enough to respond, but it’s good to reach out in that way if you’re comfortable.

Yeah, ((I don't know why the background stayed white here, whatever))  wow .... I was a little shocked, at first. Wouldn't you be? I had read where other moms had sent updated photos, and a letter to Holt to put in their child's file telling the foster family and even the birth mother how their children were doing. So I was thinking, I probably should do this. But, it got pushed back some with all the other things in life taking precedence over it (bad mama!) Then I got the email.  Oh yeah, I thought, "got to get on this pronto!"  

The letter. How on earth do I write a letter to Aiden's birth mother!?!  How can I say the right thing, positive things, thanking her for giving up her child so we could have him, thanking her for giving him life, and what a joy he is, sorry you can't see it all?? Ugg! It seems like there's so much to say, but what's the right words to use? Careful, don't use anything negative, it all has to be positive, upeddy, happy right?

I posted on FB that I received an email about Aiden's birth  mother inquiring about him from Holt Int, how he's doing, and even requested pictures! I, myself, was so happy to see the request, seriously, I was/am still! But I was curious to see what kind of response I'd see on FB.  I had 63 "Likes" and 26 responses, all good! That made me happy!  I was a happy camper anyway, but this filled that camper all the way up happy!! :)  Actually, in all honesty it took me a day and a half to actually get to it. I wrote it in a hour one day this last weekend.  Aiden was sleeping, Mike and Tay were gone at that time. The silence was a good thing. 

Sorry not to indulge you curious ones, but the letter was written for Aiden's birth mother. It wasn't quite as hard as I thought it was going to be.  I found about eight pictures, I thought were appropriate, attached them to the emailed letter. 

To end the letter almost made me sad. It's almost  like a link between us, two mothers on opposite sides of the earth, that love one little boy. One cared for him 9 months, the other will get to care for him the rest of his life. Does that seem fair? No, it doesn't.  It's an unspoken promise I made in Korea when we were there. I vowed to give him the best care he could possibly get! I vowed to fill his heart with as much love as it'll hold. I promised that special little country he will always know he is loved and where he came from.  I know the letter and pictures will make her sad, but I hope she returns home knowing he's healthy, happy, and will live life to the fullest. And, he will know she loves him and made the hardest decision she's ever had to make for him.  

I've said before, Aiden is my savior, so to speak.  In my journey to him, he's helped me sort out my own uncertainties with my own adoption I've had all my life, till now.  He was such a revelation! Never did I ever think he would give me my A-HA moment!  For me to see,  feel, and grasp it, was such an eye opener for me. It was a very emotional moment, one I had to open my heart and absorb.  I'm so thankful for him, not just for being here, but for my life. It will never be the same, and I am so grateful!