God won't give you more than you can handle ...

Yes, interesting quote. I've heard this said to me throughout my life.  When times seemed hopeless really hard, God won't give you more than you can handle right?  But isn't that the point of it? That times can seem hopeless, but some where, some how, you pick yourself up, you find the strength to pull through and move on? Isn't that where your faith comes in and saves you? So what is it about this statement that really works for people?

I did a search on those exact words: God won't give you more than you can handle and this article came up. I read it and I have to agree with it. The truth is, God will give you more than you can handle.

A couple of days ago, my faith was tested. I too was wondering where my faith had gone.  How was I expected to move past this day of despair,  feelings of making a big mistake, regret possibly, that my choices were all wrong, and looking towards the future with no hope, that I could possibly be making the biggest mistake of my life?  I had lost my faith and had nothing positive to say about the situation. How did I get to this place? Was it Satan rearing his ugly head?

Here I am 2 days later and I can think positive about my future. So what was that? A bad day? Depressed day? Hopeless day? Yuck! We all have those days where you just don't feel right, you're down, things don't feel right and life just seems hopeless. I went to church Sunday morning thinking, okay God, give me some faith right now because I feel like I've run out. I'm on "E" and need a full refill.  And I left there thinking, hmmmm I feel the same as when I came in this morning.  Where was my faith? Did God give me more than I could handle? Did I think that just because I was in the house of the Lord that my faith would miraculously be restored?

It took me a few days, but I'm glad to see I still have my faith, I feel positive about the future and I feel like I can deal with it. I feel strong, where as I didn't a few days ago. I felt weak and mentally just checked out for the rest of the day because that was the only direction I could go.  I just could not look towards the future with any positive thoughts. We all have days like that, bad days, feeling beat down, feeling like no matter what you do, it still feels hopeless, like there is no end in sight, no light at the end of the tunnel and feeling like you just don't have the strength.

By the end of the day I was feeling more like myself again. So what was it that had me thinking positive again? My family. This direct quote from that  article  sums up exactly where my mind was at the end of the day. Thankful for my family that with God's love and my faith in him, we as a family can move forward ... together!

When we become aware that life will give us more than we can handle and come to grips with this, we find a promise: God is faithful to meet us in the mess and in the pain.

But, if we’re honest, even this can seem like a tired old phrase. Because when it really hurts, God can seem so far away. This is where you and I come in. We need each other to move ahead, and we need far more than tired old phrases.

In times when life becomes unmanageable, we need to be willing to walk alongside one another. When we do this, we put flesh and bone on the person of Jesus. We can be with one another in the midst of suffering, helping each other carry the weight. Which means, that we, as the Body of Christ, have an opportunity.

When we are willing to sit in the pain, to walk with one another when life’s path is difficult and to shoulder one another’s burdens when they are too heavy, we become an embodied promise. We become living proof that while life can sometimes be too much, through the goodness of our loving of God displayed within us, we can move forward together.

Here's the deal ...

This is the deal friends and family! :) I'm sorry to keep you peeps in the dark for so long, but I haven't had a clue as to what was going on either.  I don't know what is going to happen in the next 2 weeks, but we have been told to appear in Kiev, Ukraine on Feb 12th for our SDA appointment. That leaves us 2 weeks to finalize travel plans, make arrangements for the kids, and most of all figure out how we're going to come up with the money for our first trip! We kind of put fundraising on hold a while back,  pending our girls decision, which has changed several times over the last few months.  And with her decision being "no" a week ago, we stopped everything thinking it was a no go, that we wouldn't adopt our girl.

But today.  Today, today, today we are forging ahead, not knowing if her "Yes!" we're being told is a final YES. But we've got to forge ahead. What else can we do? I have to know that we tried our best. That we forged ahead. That we did absolutely everything to give this girl a chance and her know that she is worth it! That she knows we love her and will care for her. That she deserves this chance!

Now. Now is the time. There's no more delaying anything. This weekend, we have to finalize our flights to Ukraine. We can not finalize our returning flights because we are not sure when it'll be okay to leave Ukraine. Nothing is for sure over there, nothing! We've been told, expect hiccups. Mike will stay the first week we are both required to stay in Ukraine, then return home. I will stay in Ukraine and finish up anything else that needs it, which at this point I have no idea what will be required after Mike leaves.

We've been told after our first trip, we will return home for about 4 weeks. Then we will return to Ukraine to court, finish up legal stuff, then Mike will once again return home without me. I will stay in Ukraine  for the 10 day waiting period, then T and I will go to Kiev for her exit medical, T's passport, birth certificate and anything else we'll need to get her out of that country. I'm not even sure if I have all that right, where we'll go what we'll do, but for now, it's all I know.

After flights, I need to figure out what our kids are going to do. There's school for Taylor, Mother's Day out for Aiden. Mike will stay gone for a week for both trips, but I will be gone 2 plus weeks for both trips. How is this going to play out? I have no idea. Still wondering about this plan too.

Next, there is the money situation. We were so fortunate enough that Show Hope is giving us a $4000 grant for our adoption, AND, they are gracious enough to get that to our agency in the next week or so for us to carry it on our first trip! Which, is a God send, that's the trip where the most money is needed! AND, that trip is in 2 weeks! Now. How on earth are we going to come up with the rest of the money not to mention money for the flights? I don't know that right now.

So, yes! I have lots of homework to do. And, I.am.clueless!! So bare with me friends! This is going to be a wild ride! So far it's been crazy! Ups and downs are not my specialty! I detest them, seriously! But for this girl,

we've got to try! Thanks for all the support, prayers, messages, and posts! Pray for our girl, pray for us, and pray for my family! We appreciate each and every one!

She has made her choice ...

Tanya is on her way back to Ukraine.  While here, she made a decision. She no longer wants to live in America. She is returning to Ukraine and chooses to live there. We are not adopting her. It was a very hard decision, and I knew she was struggling. I am the one who pushed the adoption ahead, to give Tanya more time to think about the decision she was making and I knew this winter hosting session would be very good for her to see what her life would be like with us. I am so glad we did that. We just want what is best for her.

She still has family in Ukraine, particularly a brother she is very close with. To ask her to leave all she's known would not be fair to her, so we let her make up her own mind without any persuasion on our part. It had to be her decision and know she made her decision on her own. We will keep in contact with her, support her in any way she needs, and love her from across the ocean. She is such a good girl and to watch her leave today was heart breaking. She wants to come back and visit us. Hopefully, we can get her back here this summer. As to what her future holds? I have no idea. But we will be in it, somehow.

Thanks so much for all your support, kind words, love, and hugs! Tanya is a very special girl and I hope we have touched her life the way she has touched ours! I know that Tanya came into our life for a reason. I first thought adoption was her purpose, to join our family.  When I saw her struggling last week, I prayed and asked that she find her inner strength, be brave, and find peace. Little did I know her peace would become my peace. I know now, we came into her life for a reason also. I'm hoping she sees what a special girl she is and that we love her unconditionally!

When people cross our paths in life, we may not know why in the beginning, and we also don't know what path we'll take with them, once they are in our lives.  Tanya entered our lives with a purpose although she did not know it.  She's taught me so much about my relationship with my own children, Taylor and Aiden.  What a revelation she is. What a brave and amazing girl she is, to come from a foreign country, live with total strangers, and hopefully learn a lot about herself in the process.

Although I am saddened and heartbroken, I have to believe in my heart she will be okay. I did tell her if she was ever in danger of being harmed, for her to contact us and we will help her any way we can. She said okay.

Someone had posted a link to this ring on Facebook a while back. When I saw it, I knew Tanya had to have it.

Tanya was so timid, nervous, scared, overwhelmed, and brave, all at the same time when she first arrived in the US this summer. But by the end of the summer, her confidence grew. She rode roller coasters with no fear, laughed until her face turned beat red, and smiled with so much love. What an amazing year to witness. I want Tanya to Love Life and Be Brave! I want her to know she is important to us, that we love her, and she is an amazing young girl! The future is so up in the air for her, but I'm hoping, so much, that when she looks down and sees her ring, she'll know we want her to Love Life and Be Brave that she's worth it and can do anything she sets her mind to! Just Love Life and BE BRAVE Tanya! We love you!